Author & Life Coach:
Ernest Ellender, PhD
What does your ACE score tell you?
Firstly, let us understand that Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) scores are based on the averages of many thousands of study participants, which means that the following potential issues are just that... potential issues for you. It is helpful, however, to acknowledge the fact that experiencing stressful childhood events naturally leads to numerous physical and psychological challenges throughout adulthood.
Just one ACE leads to a 50% greater chance of experiencing clinical depression at some point in life. Three ACEs ups the likelihood to 250-300% compared to adults who experienced zero ACEs.
Four+ ACEs makes a girl 4x more likely to get pregnant as a teenager compared to girls who experience zero ACEs. Just one ACE doubles the likelihood! Childhood stresses often lead to risky behaviors like unprotected sex as teens attempt to rapidly connect with their peers.
Two ACEs triples the likelihood of a suicide attempt in one's lifetime. Of adults who experienced four (or more) ACEs, over 18% attempt suicide at some point in their life.
While smoking can temporarily relieve moments of adult stress, it is considered an unhealthy self-soothing habit because it leads to cumulative damage for lungs, circulation, and body. In more ideal circumstances, parents teach children how to self-soothe through controlled breathing, relaxation, and communication skills.
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) is most often caused by smoking, whereas liver disease can be caused by excessive alcohol intake, as well as obesity, genetics, and exposure to toxins. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) damage the human body in two main ways: 1) Adults engage in risky or unhealthy behaviors as poor coping mechanisms for their troubling emotions. 2) The chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system (i.e. being 'stuck' in survival mode) prevents the body from spending more time in the parasympathetic 'rest-and-digest' mode when the body repairs itself toward optimal health.
For adults with zero ACEs, just under 5% (average between males and females) experience being raped as an adult. Two ACEs increases that likelihood to over 16%, and four+ ACEs leads to a 32% likelihood!
Men and women who experienced 5 or more ACEs in childhood are 4-5x more likely to abuse their partners or children (domestic violence). Intergenerational trauma and family dysfunction often model for children unhealthy ways of interacting with and controlling others.
Lack of personal coping skills combine with medical issues to negatively impact the work performances of adults with significant ACE scores, which in turn often leads to significant financial struggles. Stress (without healthy coping) leads to medical issues that lead to financial issues that cause more stress... a terrible cycle to be stuck in!!
So... what do we do about it?!
We can start with a training curriculum that addresses the deficits in personal and interpersonal skills that may be lacking due to childhoods that lacked supportive and educational components! This Is How We Heal from Painful Childhoods presents 20 rules that offer education and training to empower you with the skills your childhood failed to teach! For example, consider the following areas of your functioning that may need some attention:
Rule #2 Rule #3 Rule #6 Rule #8
Self-soothing coping skills
Repeated childhood stressors are not themselves terrible if paired with parental guidance that teaches a child how (exactly) to self-soothe, problem-solve, and handle such stressors. Unfortunately, when this supportive and attentive parental guidance is absent, stressed children are left to 'get by' on their own and naturally remain stuck in survival mode throughout their lives... until they focus specifically on skills like controlled breathing, muscle relaxation, meditation, grounding, thought correction, and proactive problem-solving.
​
Rule #3 Rule #4 Rule #5 Rule #7
Core beliefs & self-confidence
Adverse childhood experiences, including big 'T' and little 't' traumas, naturally teach a child that the world is a dangerous place, that their safety is not the priority of the adult world, and that they will need to do things to save themselves (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn). Unfortunately, these subconscious thoughts become core beliefs that persist into adulthood, eroding their self-esteem and often guiding them towards unhealthy beliefs, choices, and behaviors that prevent adult thriving... until they focus specifically on replacing these negative core beliefs with affirming, self-empowering life truths!
​
Rule #12 Rule #14 Rule #16 Rule #18
Interpersonal & connectivity skills
Stressful home environments for children typically include combative, manipulative, and isolated interpersonal dynamics that leave children feeling alone, unsafe, unprotected, and unsupported. Unfortunately, these dysfunctional interpersonal connectivity issues remain in adulthood until they focus specifically on replacing unhealthy communication (combative, indirect, manipulative, etc.) and connectivity (passive-aggressive, overtly aggressive, submissive, etc.) styles with effective, direct, collaborative communication and connectivity skills.
